Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Late Night News

On the news tonight, a little boy scout is found dead in the forests outside Montreal.
Hi, I'm Ricky Torrence, reporting for CTV news. The police have not released any information on the details of the killing, but eye witnesses report a gruesome scene as local law enforcement called in the park rangers to quell a sudden uprising of nearby animals at the scene. Several shots were fired, but, fortunately, no injuries were sustained by either the police officers, park rangers, or local animals, several of whom were tranquilised in the incident. We have Cindy Tokinawa on the scene - tell me Cindy, what's it like in the forest?

Well, Ricky, there is a thin mist in the air making this the perfect scene for such a heinous act. The police have already rounded up all the remaining children, who were all part of a camping trip organised by the Consolata Wolf Cubs. The scout leader is still reported missing, and we're unsure if his disappearance has anything to do with the murder scene. I spoke to one of the rangers earlier who saw the victim, and he said it would be very difficult for the police to identify anything about the child, who was ravishly feasted upon by wild critters. A gruesome sight to be sure. We are, as of yet, unable to find who murdered the child, or the identity of the child, although the police have told us that they will give a statement in the morning.

Cindy, is that howling we are hearing in the background?

Yes, Ricky, the animals have been acting rather oddly this night, as if sensing a monster in their midst. They have all been very unsettled, some fleeing, others attacking nearby officers as well as those observers who are close by. The police asked that we move some distance away from the crime scene for our own protection and I certainly feel a lot safer away from the murder site. I see one of the forensic officers walking into the cornered off area now. I'll get back to you when we find out more. This is Cindy Tokinawa for CTV News.

Thanks Cindy, on other late night news, Peru has downed another aircraft today that they claim is part of a drug running cartel. More on this after a brief commercial break. Stay tuned folks.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Rewind, replay, rewind, replay, rewind, replay... there, in the shadow! there's something there! I can't quite make it out. Fuck this piece of shit TV and low res news broadcast! What is that? Our father has to hear of this. I have to show Mother and Father!