Training

Dear Faith,

You've become lazy and stupid and you're gonna get yourself killed. I've been watching you for nights and you haven't even seen me (except for that one time...) and I don't even have the supernatural talent that the rest of my brothers and sisters have!

There's been a lot of changes happening underground, but with Uncle Tom in charge now I'll get some time to come round and make sure you don't trip and fall on a stake.

That gives me an idea... maybe we should practice with stakes next time, make things a little more real... not that you've ever been much of a challenge in close combat, but you're learning at least.

Think you can put your precious little games aside for a night, or has Lola really put her faith in a blood bag? At least Mr. Oscar had some muscle - you only seem good at blowing up your own allies with C4. Then again, maybe Lola finds physical training to be so boring, and you really wouldn't want to disappoint her now, what, with you being her love slave and all.

It'll take me a few nights to collect the blood I need, but I'll pounce on you when I'm ready, so you'd better be prepared!

Respectfully,
John Riviera

Games

Magpie, are you collecting shiny toys?

And when will you put me back on the shelf, bored with my games, spoilt for choice?

Magpie, I love you I love you I love you I'm obsessed with you I can't think of a single other thing, awake or asleep. It hurts, it burns to be away from you, but when I'm with you all I can think is that soon, soon, it will be over and I'll have to leave you and be alone again. At least now I have your mark on me, so I can carry you with me always. Every time you draw it again it sinks in deeper below my skin, into my blood and my mind as I sob with pain.

But I'm just a silly girl. I can see that you're infatuated now, but I'm so so scared it will wear off. You've been this way so much longer than me. I hate it when you're away and I don't know what you're doing, who you're seeing. I want you to myself. I'll kill anyone who touches you. I'll do anything to make sure you're mine. I promise, no more games.

I'm yours.

Please love me, too? Forever?

Dreams

Dreams of black skulls in empty shadows.

Empty eye sockets like the openings of gaping storm drains leading to an abandoned subway station.

Shadows within shadows.

Black upon Black.

A little on the side...

The coke is barley visible on my pale fingertips. I put my finger under my nose and take a whiff. Cocaine. Nothing more, nothing less. I rub some on my gums, tracing the roots of my fangs. It does nothing for me.

"Iz good, yes?" Yuri grins his cheshire smile. His good eye twinkling in the low lit bar.

"Its good." I say. I wouldn't really know.

"Vhy you not have Vodka? Iz good Vodka, from homeland."

"I don't drink Yuri. At least not that." I roll my eyes. "You know that. You ask me every fucking time I'm here. And I always tell you the same thing."

"I don't understand you fucking Americans. You don't drink, don't eat meat, only eat... what the fuck you call that govno... organic." He spits that last word with disdain. "But... you fucking junky. Vhy?"

"How do you know I'm a junky?"

"Look at you, skin like piss on snow! Alvays tvitshy. Only see me at night!" He leans closer and points one of his thick fingers towards the bar. Violetta is standing there, scratching her arms and scalp, occasionally stomping her feet at imaginary vermin. "And look at girlfriend. Tripping off tits! Of course you fucking junky!"

"Heh, maybe you're right." Indifference in my voice, followed by an uncomfortable silence.

Yuri leans backwards and calls over one of his girls. "Natasha! Vodka!" She rushes over, stilettos tapping frantically on the concrete floor. I see her flinch as Yuri slaps her ass. He laughs. "S'ebis!"

"So Yuri... we have a deal or not? You supply me with Heroin. And, If you like, I could supply you with some of the meth I'm planning to make."

He pauses for a moment. "I have to see. Talk vith suppliers and comrades. I let you know. How you planning to move the... product?"

"I've got plans. Don't worry about that." I grin.

"Very vell. I talk to others and tell you vhat vill happen. But enough business now. Time for drink." He bares his psychopathic teeth in a rough approximation of a smile. An index finger swings over his shoulder towards Natasha. "You vant to fuck her?"

"Hmm, maybe I will... and then I'll get myself a drink."

"Hahaha, good boy!"

Promise

Magpie,

I want to make you angry. And I want to give you a present. Make a mess, and make some art out of it for me.

I always feel better after I get angry.

xxx

L.

Betrayed

Fucker betrayed me! I can't believe he managed it so easily! All the preparation and cautionary measures! Fuck, no! This isn't happening. I can't be caught by the Sabbat! Greymalkin, you'll burn for this, you traitorous Sabbat piece of shit! I will hunt you down. You'll be a pile of ashes before the night is over.

And if my prince dies you'll all be in a world of pain! I'll kill all of you Ventrue fuckers. First I'll kill your ghouls, then I'll hunt your neonates. Finally I'll hunt you until either I or Gehenna ends your miserable existence!

Listen, all of you little shits who thought they could just toy with my fate, you don't know just to what lengths I'm prepared to go. Jeremy is just crazy, Jeremy is to scared to do anything, Jeremy is just a frightened little pussy. You'll see what happens if you back me into a corner! I'll shoot a hole through your fucking eyeball and spit in it!

The circumstances... they're in my favour. Don't ever forget that!

White Queen to Black Rook

She runs her hand through his hair. “Oh, my boy, you suffer so.” Her tone is a delicate balance of concern and mockery. 

“Leave. I’m not in the mood,” he sneers snapping his head to the side and away from her.

“Such petulance, child,” she smiles as she kneels down to face him on the floor. Suddenly her hand snakes out and grasps a handful of his dark hair, pulling him closer. “You have been spending too much time with her.”

“I’m not playing this game anymore. She means too much to me now. Find another way.”

“You’ll do what you’re told as any good child should.”

“No. It ends now.”

The smell of smoke and burning canvas still fills the air. She releases his hair and stands, looming over him, the folds of her long white dress surrounding him like a ring of fire.

“I favour you, boy, but that does not mean you’re beyond reproach.”

A wry chuckle escapes his throat. “Do what you will. I fear neither death nor pain.”

“Silly child,” she lilts her head to the side smiling and showing fangs. “I don’t need to punish you. You do such a fine job of that on your own. I just need to take away what matters.”

Instantly he is on his feet with a hand to her throat. “Hurt her in any way and I will cut a bloody swath through this city to you. I will throw the ashes of each and every one of my brothers and sisters at your feet. And then…”

“And then what, child? Kill me?” She removes his hand effortlessly. “You know you can’t.”

“No. Then I douse myself in gasoline and have one last cigarette.” He smiles sardonically. “I don’t need to kill you. I just need to take away what matters.”

For some time the two remain frozen in static regard. She eventually speaks again with a voice that could carve granite. “You are such a fool. All this for a girl you can not even muster those pathetic words for. Not even speak the simplest lie to.”

“Damn you. You stay away from us.”

Her eyes widen with sudden realization. “Oh. Oh, but it wouldn’t be a lie, would it? I know the face of your fear, little boy. You can’t say the words because they are true. You forget I know you better than any other soul in the world. And you destroy the things you love. It feeds the misery you wallow in. It’s what makes you…” she mouths the words deliberately, “an artist.”   

“This is different. I have a chance. As small as it is. I have a real chance at happiness.” He takes a step back and turns. She follows stepping forward placing both hands on his shoulders and resting her chin by his neck. In a whisper she speaks softly into his ear. “Then you are a double fool for believing that. Even if you were to find this happiness, even against all chance you find joy it will repulse her. She is drawn to you because you are broken. Mend and she will leave. Then you will have nothing.” 

She kisses his neck then turns and leaves gathering up her white dress. “Play the game, child,” She calls out as she steps into the elevator. “It’s all you really have.”

He balls his hands into fists as he stares at the floor. He listens as the machinery lowers her away. 

“Damn you,” he whispers.

Freedom

Hey Rachel,

I know you said it's dangerous for me to keep coming here, so I was thinking - your group like to solve things by fighting it out, hey? Well, I probably can't fight as well as Harry, but I'm not too bad in a fight either. At least I should be able to earn enough respect to be able to wander around a bit - you know, visit my old place and you when I want to without having to worry about killing others in order to do that, especially since you guys seem kinda cool, I'd hate to have to fight you guys for such a stupid reason. I mean, it's not like I do any hunting out there or anything. I got enough food at home. Do you think you could help me meet Harry and earn his respect? I know I look like a monster, but I'm more than that too. I can be good.

Meet me by the screen. We can talk there.

Sincerely,
John Riviera

P.S. Last night I visited the Zoo and changed into a polar bear. It was so sad, being trapped there like that. I knew how he felt, being trapped in something he doesn't like. I think we should help them - it's not right for them to be trapped that way all the time. I know the game keepers will find them again, but maybe we can give them a few days of real freedom. What do you say? Will you help me?

Pain

He asked if I had made my decision, and I said no. Clearly, I was lying. He took too long, and he trusted too little, even when I tried and tried to be on his side. But I won't tell him that. I'll hold his hand and I'll say, softly, maybe we could still turn this around. He'll look down at me, and say, oh Lola, but really he'll be thinking, Rebecca, maybe I can have you back, after all. Strange, come to think of it, how we'll both be cheating each other.

I know now what I want. Not the stability, gentleness, concern of Oscar, but the terrifying obsession and pain and wrenching yearning of my magpie. There, I can feel something.

And now he's marked me with pain. I am his. I told him to make it hurt, and he didn't disappoint. He was meticulous, and it took a long time. The intensity of his concentration was frightening, but he knew he couldn't get this wrong; he only had one try. When I finally saw it - so magnificent I didn't feel worthy of it - I felt cleansed, ecstatic, my mind clear.

Oh magpie...

I love the pain you put me through.

The Black Sun

The hardest part is having to hide. We have to hide from everything. We hide from the Sabbat, we hide from each other, we hide from the mortals, but most importantly we hide from the sun. It is a strange thing living in an endless night. Before sunrise we close our eyes and turn to corpses. No dreams, no nightmares, just death.

And death is a very strange thing... not like most people think. I've heard it being described as an endless void, a boundless black expanse of space. I guess that's an easy mistake to make... to think of it as something that is nothing. But really it is nothing. Its a fine distinction. No agoraphobic panic attacks in the darkness because there isn't any darkness to speak of. Nor anyone to feel the panic. Do you see what I mean? No... no you don't. I see that you're confused. Never mind then.

Back to what I was talking about originally. No sun. All I want to do is feel its warm rays on my face again. The funny thing is that I've never realised just how much relies on sunlight! I want to hear birds chirping again. I want to smell freshly baked bread. I want to be able to see colours for what they really are, not tainted by the tint of artificial light.

I want to walk out into the sun!